Sometimes I just need to be put in my place. To be humbled.
This morning I sat in the recliner while Abbey was asleep on the bed and Harper was asleep in my arms, and I was thinking about the past couple days. Harper and Abbey are really good babies. They are almost always happy unless tired or hungry. But the past couple days have been a little rough. They have been waking up congested which obviously makes it hard for them to sleep and Harper has been super fussy. I’m a first time mom and this is the first time my babies are sick, or just congested, or maybe sick. I just don’t know how to tell if they are just congested or if they are sick, but either way it just breaks my heart. Anyway, I’m not saying this to complain I know I am incredibly blessed with two happy healthy babies I’m just setting the scene for how God spoke to me this morning. Remember how I mentioned I skip back and forth reading a few different books and devotionals. It truly blows my minds how it’s always what I need to hear. Today I was reading “Out of the Spin Cycle” by Jen Hatmaker. And she says, speaking about motherhood,
“We are not doing our husbands and children a favor. We are intentional servants consciously deferring to the needs of those God has entrusted to us. We make the near constant decision to cast off selfishness and resist entitlement.”
God has been putting this word on my heart for a while now.
noun: entitlement; plural noun: entitlements
1.the fact of having a right to something.
That’s googles definition, in my definition I would add…
2. Feeling like you deserve something.
3. Not being truly grateful for something because you feel you deserved it, or you feel someone owed it to you.
This is an area where I truly struggle.
It’s so easy to fall into the “poor me” mindset. Or the “you owe me because I have changed 27 diapers today,” or the “aren’t you going to thank me and tell me how great I am for making dinner” or “you owe me because I did all the wake ups and feedings last night,” I could go on and on. I truly think that satan puts these thoughts in our heads to rob us from the joy and contentment that can come from the daily events of motherhood.
Is motherhood hard?
Heck yes it is.
But is it amazing?
Heck yes times a zillion.
We have the choice to become entitled if we don’t get the appreciation we think we deserve or we can choose to find joy in the mundane.
What does this look like in real life?
When I find myself starting to think thoughts like “I changed the last 8 diapers my husband should be changing this one,” I try and stop and change my way of thinking and thank God that he gave me this baby and that she’s healthy enough to be home and to make 8+ dirty diapers a day and that we have amazing aunts and uncles who decided to take turns buying us diapers and that we have this beautiful nursery in this wonderful home that God has provided us with and so on.
Thoughts snowball. Either for good or bad. It’s so easy once you think a thought of entitlement to slip down a slippery slope of a million things you think you deserve. Or you can change your thoughts to worship and thank God for what he’s given you and that will snowball.
It’s hard and like Jen said, it has to be a ‘near constant decision to resist entitlement.’ Every tough situation, every dirty diaper, every spit up, every cry, we have the decision to thank God or get entitled. It’s going to be tough but I’m going to try and always choose thanking God.
An added bonus that comes with this is that when someone does something nice for you, if you are out from behind the cloud of entitlement, you are truly grateful and appreciative. Like yesterday for example I had been doing everything I could possibly think of to get Harper to stop crying for over an hour and then my husband came and took her and told me to go take a nap with Abbey. What an amazing blessing. And without entitlement crowding my mind I was able to be truly appreciative of my amazing husband.
What a cool way to think. If you aren’t thinking people owe you or you deserve something then everything is a gift. How great is that!!
I challenge you to try and catch your self when you start to think an entitled thought, and change it to a thought of praise.