Letting go of equality

There are many challenges and many blessings that come with having twins. One of my biggest fears when I was pregnant with my twins was making sure each baby got enough love and attention, I thought I needed to make sure everything was equal. I sometimes thought that I wasn’t going to have enough to give. And honestly I still deal with this feeling some days, I think about which one did I pick up first last time they were both crying. Which one did I take out of the car seat first last time. Which baby got to snuggle next to me in bed in the morning yesterday. Which baby got their favorite toy last, (because you know they always want the same exact toy). Did I play patty cake with both of them the same amount of times. The list could go on and on, and honestly it’s exhausting. But you know what I’m forgetting, they are different people with different needs, at different times. Last month Abbey would love to lay on her mat and look and reach for all the toys and Harper would get bored after about 5 minutes and want to move on to the next thing. And now that Harper can crawl she can play with one toy and when she gets bored she can crawl to the next toy so she doesn’t need as much attention at this phase in their lives Abbey needs more attention because she isn’t crawling yet. Also Abbey loves when we read books Harper just wants to eat the book or move on to something else after the first page.

Just because they are identical twins doesn’t mean they have the identical needs.

They’re two different people with different personalities and different needs.

There’s going to be days like today where Harper needs almost all my attention because she is sick.

And you know what, that’s ok.

It’s not like Abbey is going to say to me in 10 years, Mom there was this one day where you paid more attention to Harper than you did to me. Haha. It’s ridiculous that I even think about these kinds of things but I totally do.

But I just have to keep reminding myself. The Lord gives us exactly what we need to mother the gifts he gives us. One of my favorite authors, Priscilla Shirer says in her book, Resolutions for Women, “when you choose to give, He promises you’ll have enough-more than you think- filling you back up with even more than you had to begin with.” She goes on to say, (I’m changing it from hypothetical to a command), “When you are required to give of your time, your love, your resources, yourself, be secure in the knowledge that you possess enough to do it.”

How refreshing and awesome is that! I love it.

Have any of you other mommas struggled with this?


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